Is it just me, or is it hot in here? Last week, my homeboy JC set the internet ablaze with his article addressing the concept of clean eating, touching on why it should be buried and added to the list of words never to be uttered again, right next to “bling” and “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.” I, for one, couldn’t be happier to grab a shovel and start digging.

Why So Serious?

All it takes is one look in the comment section of JC’s post to come to the conclusion that people are highly protective of their food choices and, when they are threatened, are likely to resort to verbal diarrhea in its defense.

Take for instance this gem from the comment section:

I tried to read your article with an open mind. But as the author of a clean eating recipe blog and somebody who has been eating clean for over 3 years now, I have to strongly disagree with you on just about every level….you also state, “Food is neither clean nor unclean, but merely energy my body needs to function and survive.”

NOT true! The body processes different foods very differently. The more refined and processed a food is, the worse it is for your body. The body processes refined foods very quickly and dumps the glucose into the blood stream. The pancreas than has to kick into overdrive to make up for the excess. Do this often enough, and you end up with diabetes.”

The inaccurate claims made here are an entirely separate issue, but if nothing else it highlights one important fact – this person didn’t read the article. At all.

The fitness and health industry is home to some of the internet’s finest alarmists. In one camp you have those who swear that carbs, especially when consumed mere moments after the moon rises, will magically don pimp attire and invite all the neighborhood fat into your body for a night on the town. They often worship at the alter of fat; if carbs are the problem, then unlimited amounts of fat are the solution. Then of course you have those who place the blame of the globe’s ever expanding waistline on the consumption of fat. These folks are responsible for more egg yolk homicides than Humpty Dumpty and they are more than likely to push an elderly lady into oncoming traffic if she even offers them a bite of her cheeseburger.

These are only a few examples of the many camps and factions running amuck today, but they all represent reductionist thinking, which is at best unproductive, and at worst misleading and acts as a roadblock on the path to objectivity. Nevertheless, when debate sparks and ones ideology is challenged, unsubstantiated statements and straw men arguments are without a doubt lurking nearby. Their baby is under attack, and it is their duty to defend her with all the zeal they can muster, and if that means cherry picking scientific research or downright creating facts out of thin air in order to back up their viewpoints then so be it.

Emotional Content

In the above quote, the commenter barely made it past the headline of the article before diving headfirst into an emotional response due to thinking that their way of eating was under attack when that couldn’t be further from the truth.  Do you see the problem with this trend? I’ll admit that when you feel justified in doing so, its hard to not respond emotionally to particular topics, and its something all of us have done at one time or another. But here is the thing: you don’t have to give in to your emotions when responding. Take a step back. Breath in, breath out. Woosa. Come back after you’ve had time to reflect on the merits of the argument and can respond in turn. That is the power of the interwebz. You can be as cool, calm and collected as you wanna be, or fly off at the mouth making false claims only to end up looking like a supreme turd muffin. The choice is yours and yours alone.

Pitfalls Of Extremism

The worst part about maintaining an extreme point of view is that, in most cases, you are hurting yourself the most. Taking such a stance ensures that you are often so far to either side that no sort of middle ground can be see from your vantage point and there is no room left for the possibility of learning something that may change your mind for the better. You are shut off; your thoughts have been crystallized and that’s that. Excuse me, are you saying somethin? Nuh uh, you can’t tell me nothin’.

If that road is one we’d like to leave less traveled, what is the alternative?

Clean Eating: The Problem

The best way to level up your knowledge game is to become a student of life again, realizing that what you know now isn’t all that there is to know, and that within every interaction is the opportunity to learn more. Leigh Peele wrote a fantastic article on subject of cheat meals and how the way we’re approaching them is fundamentally wrong and I couldn’t agree more. By setting yourself up to “cheat” you are operating under the false assumption that what you are about eat is wrong and that you shouldn’t be having it. As I expanded on in a previous post, by placing certain foods into a different category than those that you normally eat, you are putting them on a pedestal, which increases the likelihood that you are craving said foods because of the simple fact that you told yourself that you shouldn’t be eating them.

Clean Eating: The Solution

Objectivity, commonsense and moderation should act as your guideposts. This was the entire point of JC’s original article, but many people seemed to have abandoned ship before getting far enough into the piece to recognize this fact. Realize that no foods are off limits whatsoever and that having the body that you desire and living the life that you want don’t have to be at odds with one another. Make sure that you get adequate protein, 3-4g fish oil, lots of veggies, some fruit, and fill the rest of your caloric allotment with what is commonly referred to as discretionary calories, which can come from apple pie to zucchini and everything else in between. The human body is a beautiful piece of adaptable hardware, so make sure to experiment and find what is best for YOU, because in the end that is all that matters. As long as you are moving towards your goals, let your results speak for you and leave the worrying to those who are awesome at it.

I’d like to leave you with a quote from Lyle McDonald’s research review in which he tackles this very subject:

Given caloric control, the body’s response to a given set of nutrients, with the exception of blood lipids would appear to be more determined by the total caloric and macro content of that meal more than the source of the food.

In terms of the hormonal response, clean vs. unclean just doesn’t matter, it’s all about calories and macros.

What are your favorite “off-limit” foods that make people stare in awe when they see them disappear into your mouf?

Photo Credit: jibbit

If you want to lose fat, don’t eat carbs.

If you want to lose fat, don’t eat fat.

If you want to lose fat, eat nothing but protein.

The topic of fat loss is an emotional one to say the least, and in general, people are always looking for that secret. You know, that one rule that if they just follow for the rest of their lives they will achieve bodily nirvana.

Boo-sheet!

We live in a world of black or white, right or wrong, Team Edward or Team Jacob, when the fact is that more often than not the answer always lies somewhere in the middle.

In order to debunk this myth, we first have to put our commonsense hats on, which oddly enough happen to look like this:

Take a look around your immediate circle of friends and ask yourself this question – have any of them lost weight successfully by not adhering to this rule? If the answer is yes, then you’ve done your duty in shutting down the perpetuation of a fib that will just not die. If the answer is no, then look outside of your circle and eventually you will find a yes.

Can not eating after 6pm (or whatever arbitrary time is used) help some people lose weight? Of course it can. If someone told me that I could only eat between the hours of 3pm and 4pm, you’d be a foolish mortal to bet money that I wouldn’t lose any weight. With that said, if I wanted to hustle you out of some cash, I’d just stuff my face with calorically dense foods such as pop (read: soda to you east coast folks), fast food, and the infamous Cinnabon.

Do you see what I did there? Clever wasn’t it? In both instances I didn’t eat after some arbitrary time, but in one scenario, if this eating pattern continued over a longer period of time, I would lose weight, while in the other I would gain weight. One pattern leads to a happy camper while another leads to a person being confused as to why they aren’t losing weight despite following this one rule.

Arf? How does that happen? Whats the dealio, Rog Law?

If you manage to eat more calories than are necessary to maintain your current bodyweight over a period of time, no matter the time of day or how you break down that intake, then your body weight will increase; do the opposite and your body weight will decrease. Fretting about what time of day you’re eating your food when you don’t even have any inkling of how many calories you are consuming relative to your goal is akin to worrying about the volume of your radio as you’re driving off a cliff, or being terrified of farting in your room because you don’t want to cause a tornado in Texas.

Whatever your goal is, be it fat loss, muscle gain or simply the maintenance of your current body weight, caloric intake is the most important factor in reaching these goals, and if anyone tells you otherwise then they’re probably trying to abracadabra some money out of your bank account. Aside from calories, everything else is details (important details, but details nonetheless). So the next time someone tries to drop some old school dogma on your head, dodge that bullcrap like The Matrix and give them a righteous uppercut for their troubles.

What has been the most whacked out myth that you’ve encountered in your fitness travels? Have you been guilty of perpetuating one yourself? Don’t worry if you have, because I think we’ve all been there. I’ll even be kicking things off by sharing my most embarrassing one. See you in the comments section!

Photo Credit: Kim Beckmann, MTV Music

As an 80’s baby, I grew up during what was inarguably the most revolutionary time in modern day history. I mean c’mon, we had the 56k internet, Power Rangers, Pogs and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. How can you argue with that? Answer: You can’t (although I encourage you to try your hardest). The best part of this existence is that we had shows that not only entertained, but also enrolled us in the school of hard knocks. Want to learn about the perils of drug use? Check out just how wild Carlton gets when hopped up on speed. What about the sheer thrill of bungee jumping? Look no further than Trevor’s ill-fated proposal to Hillary. However, intertwined within these sage-like teachings, one of the most important lessons of all in the quest for sexification was lost in all of the hubbub – that of how to maximize your fat loss.

As the Grand Historian of all things 90’s T.V., let me weave a tale for you. Once upon a time not long ago, there was a television show on Nickelodeon that was of great importance to kids who raced home after school, leaving a trail of discarded juice boxes in their wake, to watch it. That show was called Legends of the Hidden Temple. The premise of the show was this: six groups of kids battle it out via physical challenges in order to earn the right to enter the temple and escape with the sacred treasure. In order to progress within the temple, the young adventurers had to solve various puzzles, one of which was responsible for failing more unsuspecting newbs than banana peels and whoopee cushions combined – The Shrine of the Silver Monkey.

In order to proceed to the next room, the monkey had to be assembled in the correct order on the pedestal. It consisted of three pieces: the base, the body and the head. However, due to the lack of functioning retinas or the failure of the American schooling system, more often than not the head or the body ended up going on first, time ran out and the kids went home with nothing but memories of epic failure for their troubles.

(2:20-3:20 is all you need to watch)

Ok, so far I’ve managed to prove two things:

A) The 90’s were awesome.
B) Some kids need to revisit kindergarten.

But Rog Law, how the heck does this relate to fat loss? Lets get to it.

Agony of defeat

One of the most fundamental errors that most people make when looking to drop a few pounds is that they start with a base that isn’t conducive to their goals. For instance, I’m sure we all know at least one person who begins a fat loss program with all the energy and vigor of a 5 year old on a Cookie Crisp high. They hit the gym in the morning. They hit the gym during their lunch break. They hit the gym after work. They hit the gym right before bed time. Hell, they probably hit the gym in their dreams, bench pressing with good ‘ol Freddy Kruger himself giving them a spot! Naturally, after weeks of arduous effort, they hop on the scale with a smile on their face. I mean surely after all this hard work they are destined to be rewarded, right?

Wrong!

Knees meet the floor in horror as the scale greets them with the terrible news: same crap, different day. Without knowing it, they violated the cardinal rule of fat loss – develop a solid nutrition base, or prepare thyself for a lifetime of sailing the blubbery seas. Just like the failed assembly of the Silver Monkey, many people have it all wrong when it comes time to implement their fat loss plan, and as a result often spend months if not years spinning their wheels in frustration.

Can you out train a subpar diet? Sure, but I can think of a few things that are slightly harder, such as slurping dry the Atlantic Ocean with a straw, or body-slamming the Empire State building. Simply put, it’s hard as all get-out to burn a ton of calories through exercise alone unless you’ve built up your physical capacity to the point where you’re able to handle the workload, and even then it’s always easier to eat less food than it is to burn it off after doing so.

So what is the person looking to bring that head image of themselves into reality left to do? Have no fear! As the conductor of the Sexification Express, I take it upon myself to make sure that you are equipped with the requisite knowledge to get the ball rolling on your own fat loss journey, so let’s go through the necessary steps of creating a solid foundation.

The Base

In order to stand a chance of getting to where you want to be, you first have to figure out where you are, therefore it is of super duper importance that you determine your maintenance calories. There are a lot of fancy calculators out there, but you don’t need no stinkin’ technology to figure out where you stand – just multiply your current body weight in pounds by 14 if you lean more towards the inactive side of things or 15-16 if you have a higher level of daily movement such as resistance training and moderate intensity cardio.

Remember that this is but a rough estimate and nothing more. That said, it still serves as an effective starting point compared to just pulling random numbers out of thin air. If you find that you’re gaining weight at this calorie level, decrease your starting number by 150 calories and reassess.

I know that there are some folks out there who would rather skip this step for whatever reason, and that is fine with me as long as you are progressing towards your goals. If you’re raring to get going, simply multiply your starting body weight in pounds by 10-12. For those who have jobs that don’t involve much movement at all throughout the day, you may want to start out with the lower number, possibly going as low as 8 calories x body weight in pounds if you’re really, really inactive. Just as a side note, I rarely recommend going down to such a level, especially for more than a week or two, so start with the higher values and stick with those until you have reason to do otherwise.

And no, not achieving your goals within the first few weeks is not a valid reason.

Cliffsnotes Version

• Maintenance intake = 14-16 x body weight in lbs. The less active you are, the lower the number you start with.
• Fat loss intake = 10-12 x body weight in lbs. The less active you are, the lower the number you start with.
• Muscle gain intake = 18-20 x body weight in lbs. The less active you are, the lower the number you start with.

There you have it, a simple, time effective way to estimate your maintenance, fat loss and muscle gaining calories. If you don’t have this down, you’ve got no business proceeding to the next level, so consider this your homework assignment. Make sure to stay tuned for the next post in this series where we move beyond the base into the belly of the beast – macronutrients and their role in your dieting plan.

What are the greatest barriers that you encounter when trying to lose fat? Also, what are your fondest memories of the 90s? Be sure to drop your answers in the comment section. Don’t worry, if you say Pokemon I won’t hold it against you. In fact, I may very well give you a high five on the down low. Shhhh – don’t tell nooooooooobody!

Casein: A member of the most excellent protein family, which plays a role in pretty much everything we do, from enzyme function to making sure we don’t look like Skeletor due to lack of muscle mass. Don’t leave home without it.

Kevin Federline: Leader of the species of human commonly referred to as Supremeicus Dumbassicus. Despite first being documented around 17,000 BC, no known benefits have been established.

Winner: Casein

Casein: The Superman of the dietary protein world, well-known for its documented anti-catabolic properties, which is a fancy way of saying that it contributes significantly to the prevention of muscle breakdown.

Kevin Federline: There is no pretty way of saying this folks, so I’m gonna just throw it out there: K-Fed is straight up 129% catabolic to every tissue in the human body. Scientific studies have shown that just 2 minutes of exposure to K-Fed at any point in your life will cause irreparable damage to the brain and decrease muscle mass by 72%. You will also lose the ability to love.

Winner: Casein

Casein: As a slower digesting protein found in milk, cheese and other dairy products, it tends to keep you satiated for longer periods of time. Also, depending on the flavor, it can be quite delectable.

Kevin Federline: There ain’t nothing slow (highly debatable) or tasty about K-Fed. Like a ninjitsu Sonic the Hedgehog, he hits you hard and fast, leaving you mighty blue and depressed from having briefly been in his presence. His unique sound can best be described as…you know what? I won’t even try. Prepare yourself for what may very well be the worst album of all time.

Winner: Casein

Casein: At only $29.99  for a months supply, adding a scoop or two a day to your current intake won’t break the bank.

Kevin Federline: Just by mentioning his name several times throughout this post I’ve managed to wipe out my entire life savings and lose my girlfriend all in one fell swoop. Can you imagine what its like to be married to this guy?! Imagine no more. In what will most certainly go down in history as the most bizarre and outrageous Jedi mind trick ever performed, Kevin managed not only to go from nada to Prada by hooking up with Britney Spears, but he actually leveled up after the divorce. Peep the stats:

A 2004 pre-nup called for K-Fed to get $250,000 for each year of their marriage, but Spears upped that figure to $500,000 to speed up the negotiations.

He receives half the proceeds from their Malibu mansion, which is on the market for $13.5 million.

$25,000 a month in child support for each of the couple’s two children until they reach 18. He also gets custody of the boys four days a week.

Federline gets to keep all the gifts Spears bought them during their marriage.

He’s forbidden from writing a tell-all about their marriage.

Winner: Kevin Federline

The count says it all. If you’re interested in lean mass preservation and a delicious and convenient protein source, I encourage you to buy a tub of casein (or, even better, a whey/casein mix) protein powder and give it a try to see how you like it.  However, if you’re one of those rare individuals who enjoy the sound of terrible music and would like nothing more than to surrender some brain cells over to the dark side, then you have met your savior. Oh, and by the way, his kick game is ridiculous.

So, my loyal readers, where do you get your protein supplements from? And who would you rather have on your side in an alley fight, a cow or Kevin Federline? Shoot me your answers in the comment section below. Thanks for reading, and I would say that I love you, but I’ve lost the ability to experience that emotion.

Photo Credit: idovermani, Hot Rod Homepage

I just want to let you all know that Rog Law fitness is inactive for the time being and will be back on September 1st when I launch the new, sexified site. So, until then, thank you for your continued support, and hold on to your tushies because its about to get real!