Welcome to the first thrilling & action (or lack thereof) packed edition of “I Must Break You”

In each release, I’ll be performing a new workout designed by some of the world’s best trainers and strength coaches in an attempt to…well, break me. This is just a way to add some variety and fun to my sessions (and give you something to laugh/cringe at) while giving all of you Sexified readers out there some ideas to inject into your own workouts every now and then.

Today’s edition is brought to you by Nadine “The Queen of Mean” Brown

Nadine is a personal trainer out of Australia’s Matrix Boxing Gym and is the current Queensland professional champion in the lightweight division, so it goes without saying that she’s a beast and I clearly wasn’t in my right mind when accepting this challenge from her. Here is the workout:

Complete as many rounds of the following as you can in 30 minutes

20 Burpees
20 Bodyweight Squats
20 Pushups
40 Mountain Climbers (20 per foot)
20 Dumbbell Uppercuts

So, despite having the conditioning of a pregnant one legged elephant, I had several things going against me in this workout:

1 – I thought it would be a great idea to add this to the end of my workout, which consisted of heavy front squats, overhead presses, back squats and deadlifts. I ended up dropping the dumbbell uppercuts after the first round due to excessive shoulder fatigue.

2 – I’ve lived in the 1-8 rep range exclusively for the past few years, so doing anything over 10 reps causes my muscles to crouch in the corner in the fetal position wondering what they did to deserve such torture.

Combine all 3 of those factors and you have the Trifecta of Suck, which is what I did here! Despite sweating profusely and breathing like an awkward teenage Rog during the painting scene in Titanic, I managed to get 3 rounds in 25 minutes (had to get ready for a client) – not even close to good, but this sets the baseline for when I repeat this workout later on down the road.

Take not of the overall length of the video – that means I cut out close to 10 minutes of grunting and writhing on the ground. See how much I care about y’all?

Muscular endurance? Check!

Conditioning? Check!

Mental toughness? Check!

This workout had it all, and it broke me like a bad habit. Well done, Nadine – there is a small corner of my mind that will wince in pain whenever I hear the words burp, pee, or any combination of the two.

Status: BROKEN