Holiday Survival Guide

“It ain’t just happenin over there, it ain’t just happenin over there, it’s happenin here; it’s happenin everywhere. All three of ‘em went, boom, boom, boom, one after the next. I ain’t gonna just sit around and let that happen to nobody. Not in my town. Not in any of my five towns.”

– Johnny Drama

The holidays have a tendency of bringing out the Mr. Hyde in all of us. One minute you’re staying the course on your diet, following it to a T, and then the next thing you know you’re stumbling down the street knocking over trash cans and clutching trees  in the grips of a food induced coma, wondering where it all went so wrong. But I’m here to tell you that gosh diddily darn it, it doesn’t have to be that way – not this year!

Be Proactive

The battle against the holiday bulge doesn’t start the day of the event, but today. Now. Not now, but right now. Are you rocking along with your training program? Good – keep up the good work, as you’re three steps ahead of most people. If you’re not following any kind of regular exercise at this moment, ride a bike, sign up for a boot camp class at your local fitness center, walk your dog, or your invisible dog if you don’t have one, but do something – anything at all – and keep doing it, right on through the holidays!

The more you do now, the less likely it will be that you blowuptuate over the holidays. If you take nothing else from this post, just get moving now so that you will minimize the damage you do at the dinner table.

Portion control

Hopefully you weren’t expecting anything earth shattering, like when you found out that Tommy was the White Ranger, because it really is this simple. Just because the food is there doesn’t mean that you have to show up to the table with your eatin pants on, looking to beat out last year’s record. Just treat it like any other day of the year, except that you get to be around a lot more family and the food is much better. Don’t try to be all Spartan with your diet – feel free to enjoy the foods that you love, albeit in smaller portions. A little slice of cake never killed anyone, but when that slice gets bigger and turns into slices, thats when trouble starts a brewin’. Remember: you are in complete control of what and how much food goes into your mouth, so unless you’re eating the kind of demon spawn food than can sprout legs and get inside your belly all on its own, then its all on you to make the decisions that are in your best interest.

Silence the haters

Don’t be surprised if you end up being the lone warrior at the dinner table who only has one helping of food, enduring the “wtf mate” looks from family and friends. Misery loves company, so don’t let everyone else beat up on you because you’re not letting it all hang out like the rest of the crowd. These people have already actively decided that they’re going to experience an epic fail of massive proportions and set themselves a couple of steps back, but that doesn’t mean that you have to follow them down that road. If people keep harassing you, offering you seconds and thirds, just politely let them know that you’re full, or whatever excuse you’d like to come up with so as to not eat anymore food. Saying that if I eat anymore food I’ll have to clog up their toilet is a personal favorite of mine – works every time!

If all fails, do not abort!

If for some strange reason you disregard all this advice and completely lose it at the dinner table, just collect yourself and get back on the proverbial horse. You’ve had your fun, but now its time to get back to business. A lot of people will fall off so horde and use this one slip up as an excuse to go hog wild for another few days until they “get back on track.” Unfortunately, its never just a few days – usually a few weeks, months…heck, maybe even years. Don’t fall into this trap.

The holidays are a time to rock out and enjoy the company of family and friends, but that doesn’t mean you have to go to excess in order to do so.  Stay strong, and above all else, have fun – just not at the expense of your goals.

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  1. Jack says


    I’ve noticed that the more consistent I am with my dietary habits year-round, the more I relish the “treats” that may get worked in from time to time. While some look at certain foods as potential triggers, I’ve found it rather empowering to keep things as restrained as possible and then judiciously work in some special selections.

    For example, if I am out at a restaurant and “work around the menu” to craft a reasonable dining-out equivalent to what I might prepare for myself, then it makes selecting a tasty dessert that much more enjoyable. I get the pride that comes from exhibiting some self-control and the pleasure that is a delectable morsel shared with good friends/family.

    Thank you for timely reminder of how to keep things in check while still enjoying the holiday season with proper gusto.

    • says


      I’m right there with you on that thought. Treats are definitely just that man – treats. The more you tend to “take advantage” of them, the less special they become. Its not even December yet but I know on December 31st, wherever I end up, I’m going to ring in the new year with a Cinnabon w/extra frosting!

      P.S. – +7 points for use of the word “delectable”

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