I’m going to keep this one short and sweet like Danny DeVito eating a Cinnabon: one day, in the not too distant future, a human’s worth will not judged by their kindness, achievements or accolades, but by the strength and shape of their glutes. I don’t even want to begin on the social life-killing stigma of being the only one in your peer group NOT able to turn a piece of coal into a diamond with one flex of your butt cheeks.
If you’re looking for specific exercises to add to your arsenal, make sure to check out Bret Contreras’ page. He’s like King Midas of the fanny – everything he touches turns to glutes instead of gold (which will be worth far more in the future, anyway).
I care too much about you to see you suffer booty ostracism.
Rog’s Rump Revival Rules
1. The 40 Year Old Virgin will teach you everything that you need to know about glutes
The great sage Steve Carell once asked the greatest question known in the history of the world: is it true that if you don’t use it, you lose it?
When it comes to the glutes, this is the absolute truth.
For a variety of reasons (constantly sitting on them all day, never really learning how to use them in the first place, etc), most of our backsides are just plain ‘ol weak and inefficient. The problem doesn’t correct itself when we load up the barbell and expect the glutes to get their act together without being properly taught how to. This would be similar to taking a 6 year old away from their coloring books and snacks and throwing them into an advance physics class – they’re just not ready.
If you don’t use ’em, you will lose ’em. Friend’s don’t let friends lose their glutes.
2. Work your glutes all day every day
The following exercises take less than a minute to do, but will help take your booty development to the next level. You can do them in the morning after you wake up, at night before you go off to dream land, or as part of warm up before lifting. The more you turn your glutes “on” and actually FEEL them working, the easier it will be to call upon their awesomeness when you need it.
Create that mind-muscle connection and you will be handsomely rewarded.
Do 1-2 sets of 10 reps each side for these exercises.
Now for some real life bonus tips that you can do without throughout the day.
- When you’re walking, focus on extending your hip back and really feeling your glutes squeeze with each step. Think “walk like Robocop”.
- Stand up every now and then and just squeeze your butt together for 10 reps. If you really want to spice it up and feel them working, hold each rep for 5 seconds.
- While sitting, flex each cheek individually, which will rock you from side to side a bit. For added flair and style points, squeeze both glutes together to bounce up and down and your chair. Yes, this does look as hilarious as it sounds.
3. Get ’em strong!
Now that you’ve woken your buns up, it’s time to integrate them into your lifts. Get strong at exercises like the deadlift and squat variations, hip thrusts and lunges. If you’ve been doing these with weak, non-functioning glutes (like I was for years), prepare to have your lifts skyrocket now that you have the strongest muscle in your body on your team. You might even shed a tear or two.
Remember to lock out with your glutes and NOT your lower back on all of the above exercises. Here is a video of how you want to approach it, especially if you have a history of low back pain like I do.
Questions? Concerns? Want some more tush talk? Leave a comment below – I’m more than happy to help you get to the bottom of this.
Remember: If you don’t squeeze it, no one else will.