20+ Ways to Live a More Positive, Fulfilling and Happy Life

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I don’t have anywhere near all the answers, but here are a few lessons that I’ve learned throughout my life that’ve helped me live a more positive and fulfilling life.

1) Be the hero of your own story.

Whatever mistakes you’ve made up until now are off the table – the only thing that matters from this point on is how you move forward starting today.

Imagine you’re the main character in a video game, or you’re playing the starring role in the supremely megafantastic movie called YOUR LIFE – act accordingly.

What would they do? What choices would they make?

Don’t wait around or expect anyone else to create your own success or happiness – that’s entirely yours to make.

The princess is in another castle and nobody is gonna save her but you (high five if you get this reference).

“Be your own hero, it’s cheaper than a movie ticket.” – Douglas Horton

Action step: Watch your favorite movie montage, video game scene or TV moment. Find out what drew you to it (was it the character’s intensity, confidence, charisma? What about their ability to handle a tough situation or stand up for themselves?) then apply it to your own life in any situation that you can.

2) Fail often. Fail better.

“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

Action step: Pick back up (or start) something that failure, or fear of it, kept you from pursuing.

3) Empty your mind

Whether your goal is to look like Hugh JACKEDman or simply get rid of the extra fluff that has taken up residence on your body, odds are you’re holding on to some beliefs that do nothing more than hold you back.

It could be “knowing” that you have to eat x amount of meals a day, or “knowing” that if you eat certain foods you’ll never get the body that you want.

Open yourself to different possibilities. There are no absolutes, only options…and options are great because that means cake, and cake is AWESOME!

Action step: Identify at least one idea/belief that does nothing but hold you back or hinder your progress. Once you’ve done that, write down ways that you can act that run counter to those ideas. Give it time and do this for several weeks, taking note of any changes, positive or negative, that’ve occured.

Example: I must eat every 2 hours, despite it being a chore and my lifestyle beginning to suffer.
Action: For a month, increase the length of time between your meals and see how you respond.

4) Build momentum

Whatever your goal is, do whatever you have to do to get it, then do everything in your power to keep from losing it.

Unless of course you’re in a negative momentum spiral, then please feel free to stomp both feet into the ground Flinstone style to stop and get yourself on the right path.

Action step:  Identify one thing , small or large, that you really want to accomplish. Decide on a first step then do it, no matter what. If you want to write a book but haven’t written anything since you came up with the idea, shut off your phone, go to a place where you can write and sit there until you’ve made headway on the project. This could be on the weekend or you may even have to call in sick from work.

Extreme? Yup, but the “OH HELL YEAH!” feeling you get from finally making progress far outweighs any monetary or time sacrifice you made to make it happen.

After this, keep going on a daily, or at the very least weekly, basis. It doesn’t matter how small, just DO NOT lose the momentum you’ve gained. Small progression is better than no progression.

5) Do the simple things every day

Smile and laugh everyday.

Be positive and act positively as often as you can.

Pass up as many opportunities as possible to be a downer, asshat or general negative vibe bringer.

Action step: This one is easy – start with smiling and laughing and see where it takes you. Even if you don’ feel like it, this is one of those instances where faking it until you make it works wonders.

6) Death, defeat and life domination

36,816,413 minutes

840 months.

70 years.

The average life expectancy.

One of these days we’re going to die – and who knows then? This is the most empowering thing you will ever hear.

How many days, months or years have passed by without us having really lived them?

Doesn’t matter. Starting today, begin the process of doing more of what you love and what makes you happy vs what sucks and what drains you.

Tell the people close to you that you love ‘em.

Reach out to and old friend you haven’t talked to in awhile and see what’s up.

Start surrounding yourself with those who say “why not?” instead of only asking “why?”

Write down a list of big dreams and little dreams, no matter how lame they may seem, and start pursuing them ALL like a damn cheetah with a rocketpack attached to it.

One day you will wake up and there won’t be anymore time to do the things you’ve always wanted – do it now.

“You have exactly one life in which to do everything you’ll ever do. Act accordingly.” – Colin Wright

Action step: Whenever you screw up, take a step back and laugh. Seriously, laugh. Did you die? If you’re reading this then you’re still in the game. Revel in this fact and get back to being awesome because you never know when your time will come.

7) Find inspiration daily

Whatever you’re doing, a mega dose of inspiration can help keep you going, take it to the next level or transform it into something wild & completely different.

So find that inspiration.

The best part? It’s everywhere.

Read a book by your favorite author.

Get out and explore nature (watch out for rabid wildebeests).

Listen to a dope podcast or some awesome music.

Find someone who is doing great things and thank them, because if they can do it then it’s within your own powers of awesomeness to do it as well.

Do this and do it daily; first thing in the morning so that you set the awesome tone for your day.

Make yourself aware of what’s possible in this world and be surprised at how it starts to change your own life.“If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Action step: Do one of the above things on a daily basis, preferably first thing in the morning, or create your own inspirational ritual. For some it’s horseback riding and jigsaw puzzles, and for others it’s daily meditation.

8) Learn from your past, then let go

Spaceships don’t have rear-view mirrors for a reason (ok, several reasons).Treat your past experiences as the best teacher of all, but once you’re done, you’re done. Don’t look back and expect to learn something new from constantly analyzing or “re-taking” that same class over and over and over again.The same issues tend to keep popping up in life until the lesson is learned. If that’s happening, learn it once and for all and stop the cycle so you can moonwalk forward into the rest of your life.

“Going over your past is like sitting in a crap film and watching it over and over and over and over again expecting the ending to change, when it’s not. It’s not going to.” - Jules Murphy Wyman

Action step: Identify a moment from your past that’s still haunting you. Set aside some time to really analyze why it’s bothering you and extract as many possible positive takeaways or lessons that you can (there is always something, no matter how it may seem). Use those to improve your life from that point forward and put the past to rest.

This could range from anything to diet mishaps to romantic relationship mistakes.

 9) Stop hiding

Be your unabashed self in all the best ways that you can. Take your own strengths and superpowers and amplify them.

By not doing it, you’re not only robbing the world of your awesomeness, but you’ll never be able to step out and realize your full potential.Don’t try to be someone else – they’ll always be better at it than you could ever dream of being. Life is way too short to be a half-ass version of something that’s already out there.

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successfull personality and duplicate it.” – Bruce Lee

Action step: Seriously, you’re theshit.com*, so start by surrounding yourself with people with whom you can really be yourself with, online or in person. Gain confidence from these interactions. Sneak bits and pieces that you feel comfortable with into your daily life. Identify what’s awesome about you (asking friends or those close to you can help if you don’t have the slightest clue) and start amplifying it.

*Disclaimer: Don’t go to that site haha. I can’t imagine anything good coming from it.

10) Be kind

Never underestimate the power of a smile, a kind gesture, sympathetic word or a listening ear – all of which are easy to give and cost you nothing. You never know what someone right next to you is going through, and if it will be the difference between a craptastic day and one filled with a little sunshine and hope.

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.” – George Washington Carver

Action step: Be giving with your time, knowledge, money, kindness, connections or influence when you can. Give in such a way that the person who receives it can’t possibly return the favor.

 11) Be grateful

Practice gratitude daily.Take 5 minutes at the end of your day to chill and write down a small list of the things that made you smile, laugh, or that you’re glad are a part of your life. There’s ALWAYS something to be grateful about, especially when you look down at that list and realize that a lot of people out there have it worse off than you do and could use a few of those things.

“If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.” – Frank A. Clark

Action step: Make that list! I’ll know if you don’t ;)

12) Be positive and believe in yourself

Being an optimist won’t solve all your problems, but what’s the alternative? There isn’t much sense in being anything else.

If you’re constantly filling your head with negative thoughts, odds are they’ll lead you straight towards negative actions, self-doubt and increase the general suckitude of life by 10384398%.Suck City isn’t a cool place to live at all.

Think of each setback as a challenge to see the positive, spin the situation back around, making it better than it was before.

“You’ve done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.” – Ralph Marston

Action step: From now until the day you die, work on developing a positive mindset via positive thoughts and actions, and chase the defeatist and negative mindset out of your brain and life. Never say “it is what it is”.

13) Tell safety to suck it

Playing it safe is the riskiest thing that you can do.Do what everyone else does and your results will the same as theirs – average. And you’re better than average.

Be bold. Be yourself. Take a chance.

What’s the absolute worst that can happen? Death. Let’s be real though: what you want to do isn’t going to even come close to killing you, even though it may feel like it at times.

Use this to your advantage and run towards necessary risk instead of away from it. No failure is too large to recover from. No setback is too great to power through like a champ. Nothing hurts more than a death by 1,000 small cuts, letting each day that passes mark another day that you didn’t move closer, even if only a small way, towards your dreams.

“The world is full of people who want to play it safe, people who have tremendous potential but never use it. Somewhere deep inside them, they know that they could do more in life, be more, and have more — if only they were willing to take a few risks.” – George Foreman

Action step: Do something epic. Do something heroic. Do something awesome. Whatever you wanna call it, DO NOT settle for mediocrity. Do things that make the world better for you having been here.

Here are some resources to help:

The Flinch by Julien Smith

How To Be Legendary by Johnny B. Truant
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

14) Be present (thanks to reader Jordan Ayres)

With the humongous list of things to do and more ways to distract ourselves than ever, it’s easy to lose site of what’s important – RIGHT NOW; not sulking about the past or worrying about the future. The most important thing that we can get ourselves and others is our undivided attention.

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.” – Henry David Thoreau

Action step: Be actively involved with what you’re doing. When you’re with friends/family, turn of your cell phone or leave it in the car if you have the habit of constantly checking it like you’re Superman on call (guilty as charged). Focus on one task while minimizing all other distraction that pull you away from it.

15) Treat money like a tool

Wads of flimsy, funny looking cash. Computer generated codes that tell us that those numbers in our online banking accounts are real. It’s wild how much meaning and emotion we attach to money. If I drop a penny, I won’t even blink, but if a $100 bill blows out my hand I might chase it through the streets until the end of time.

At the end of the day, money is just a means to an end. Nothing more.

If you’re grinding and struggling to make ends meet and buried under piles of debt, that’s pretty stressful. Once you have your basic needs met though, more money only makes you happier up to a certain point.

If you chase the dollar for no other reason than to make more of it, you’ll eventually slip and fall in a puddle of weaksauce and unhappiness.

“I can live without money, but I can’t live without love.” – Judy Garland

Action Step: Instead of buying more things, use it to create as many amazing experiences as you can for yourself and those you love. Happiness will surely follow.

16) Grow

Surround yourself with friends and people that are better than you in areas that you want to improve in. Learn from them, let them push you out of your comfort zone and it’s only a matter of time before you level up as well.

“Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing.” – William Butler Yeats

Action Step: Reach out to people that you want to learn from within your network or outside of it. Pay it forward and be ready to reciprocate when someone reaches out to you in the same way.

17) Quit the internet

Just kidding! But seriously.

The internet is one helluva drug, especially when you throw Facebook likes, retweets and all other forms of social media into the mix. It can, and will, consume more time then you’ll ever want to publicly admit., taking a large chunk of your emotions along for the ride.

On the flip side, I’ve made a ton of very good friends thanks to the power of the interwebz,  amazing people I otherwise would have never known. I’ve traveled to Ireland, released a product and will be hanging out with one of my favorite authors soon because of it.

Here’s how to maximize the good while minimizing the bad.

“Our brains are not wired to be made happy by the internet. Saying the web is important to your life is like saying that television is important. It might be social, sure, but it’s still media. It can help connect but it also divides in a very fundamental way.” – Julien Smith

Action Step: Use social media/the net to connect – and then take it offline as soon as possible. Talk with them on the phone. Send hilarious videos back and forth (hi, Kellie Davis). Video chat with them on Skype. Meet with them in the flesh whenever possible. Take it beyond the text.

18) Stomp out comparison

Think you’re strong (or good at anything)? Go on Youtube and prepare to be knocked down a few levels.

Someone will always be “better” than you at something, but it doesn’t matter. Be inspired by them, using it to push yourself further, and nothing more. If they can do it, it’s within your power as well while also applying your own unique spin on it.

DON’T compare your haves to their haves. It only leads a negative mindset. Rock your individual talents like a boss and let what makes you unique shine.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Action Step: Use that to light a fire under your own buttcheeks and to do things in your own unique way. You’re the only person you need to compare yourself to. Strive to make yourself just 0.001% more awesome than you were yesterday, and you’ve won in a big bad way.

19) Hug it out. Forgive quickly (thanks to Marianne Kane)

If you’re angry at someone or something, get over it – fast.

Either change the situation, change your outlook on the situation, or change yourself.

If you can the other person can talk it out and get over it together, even better. That ensuing feeling of relief and “ahhhhhhhh”ness feels amazing. Wrongs have been righted and balance has once again been restored to the force. It’s like make-up sex for your soul.

Regardless, let go of whatever anger or resentment you’re holding within yourself. If you don’t, you’re doing far more harm to yourself than anyone else ever could.

Forgiveness is for you, first and foremost.

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” – Nelson Mandela

20) Be yourself

We all have something within us that no one else can duplicate.

Embrace it and let the confidence that you feel positively spread into other areas of your life.

The world needs more people who have come alive instead of wondering if they can.

“Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model.” – Vincent Van Gogh

21) Rise

Sometimes you don’t win.
Sometimes things don’t turn out as planned.
Sometimes you don’t end up with who you want to be with.
Sometime you just don’t have feel like continuing on anymore.

So, what do you do?

Rise.

There’s a lesson to be learned in everything, and sometimes that lesson is to engage in the beautiful comeback. To refuse to be defeated and come back better than you were before.

“Why do we fall, sir? So we might learn to pick ourselves up.” – Alfred Pennyworth

22) Be the hero of someone’s story (thanks to Lou Schuler)

Husband. Wife. Friend. Employee. Writer.

We all have different roles that we play in the lives of people we love and care about. Our actions and how well we play our part has a direct influence on their life, so we better get in there and give our best performance. Wow them with how much you care in the capacity that you’re in.

Difficult? Yep. Worthwhile? Definitely.

Never underestimate your ability to be a positive influence on someone else.

23) Explore (thanks to Jen Sinkler)

We all have an itch inside, reminding us that we should be doing more with our brief time on this planet.

Most will ignore it for many reasons. Others will follow their curiosity and see just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Which sounds more fun?

You don’t have to make grand changes right off the bat. It could be as simple as trying new foods that you’ve been too scared to dig in to, or traveling to different part of your country. Gain confidence from these mini explorations. You owe it to yourself to explore and scratch away at the self-imposed boundaries of your own life, interests and passions and see where they take you.

And one day if your adventures take you far from your comfort zone, the possibility of what lies ahead scaring and exciting you at the same time, then you know you’re on the right path. Push forward.

“Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.” -Alan Keightley

What ways do YOU bring positivity and happiness to your own life?

I want to have this as a resource for people going forward, so please add your ways in the comment section below and I’ll update this post with your suggestions. All props and recognition going to you.

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Comments

  1. Marianne says

    I feel like printing this, laminating it and posting it in my house, at work, down the gym, in the streets – people JUST DON’T GET IT! We only live once, so why continue to live a mediocre and/or miserable existence when you have the power to change it.

    Oh I am so glad you posted this! Thanks Rog!

      • jennie says

        I love this article. It was a great read while I sat on the toilet. I needed guidance on how I could feel happy again. In need of some serious venting, Getting rid of the boyfriend, raise my son and build a career. I’m ready to take my first step.
        Thank you so much Roger.
        Now I understand YOLO

        • says

          Hey Jennie,

          Confucius once said that we all do our best thinking on the toilet, so I’m glad you proved his point ;)

          I’m glad you liked the article!

          P.S. – YOLO

  2. says

    Incredible post man. This right herrr is like a coles notes for heroism in the modern age. A concentrated dose of awesomeness.

    Amazeballs

  3. Kimberly Mills says

    Rog….I feel blessed that I have gotten to know you through our conversations and postings on Facebook. Even though I have not met you… yet (May will be here soon enough ;) ), I consider you a good friend and a Godsend who inspires me, motivates me, and makes me laugh every single day. This world needs a lot more Rog Law’s. Thank you for being the most awesome person you are! :)

  4. says

    This is great Rog. After reading this I feel inspired to do more. Sometimes things can seem rough and you feel like giving up on whatever you’ve been working so hard for/on. You need to stay strong and believe in yourself. This post said it all too well. Shared, liked, and loved.

  5. says

    As I’ve already expressed on my blog and Facebook, awesome awesome post.

    One of the ways I bring positivity and happiness into my own and others life is through focusing on being meaningful and in the present. Seriously, for a long time I was obsessed with multi-tasking, planning and thinking about everything. It used to get me all worked up and sometimes anxious. I was never fully in the present and aware. Now I try to achieve focus in whatever I do, whether that be in the gym (phone on airplane mode), in the kitchen, in the bedroom (ha!), in clubs and even in the library. When I’m interacting with my friends I’m always focused on the conversation and listening, rather than sitting there pretending to listen whilst checking my phone or thinking about my to-do list.

    • says

      Hey Jordan,

      This is an awesome tip man, thanks for sharing!

      I know I’m guilty of this more often than not – with all that there is to do, it feels like if you aren’t trying to do it all at once then you’re going to fall behind. Truth is though, we’re probably doing half ass jobs of whatever we want to do when we’re multi-tasking. I’m going to work on being better at this as well.

  6. Bridget says

    I saved this up for a moment when I knew I would have enough time to take it in and I am so glad I did! Today was a big day for me, I had to make some career decisions and at the same time, have a meeting OVER LUNCH. omg. Without knowing it, I was taking your advice before even reading it – I didn’t die without eating bang on time, and the decisions I made were based on me being me (not hiding) and taking risks and believing in myself…

    Briliant, brilliant post!

  7. Sean says

    Rog,

    Have you ever considered motivational speaking and/or writing as a side gig? In all seriousness, it seems like something you have a bit of a knack for.

  8. Mark says

    Hey Rog, just what I needed I tend to fluctuate from positive to negative, action to procrastination, belief to self doubts that much that I feel like I’m loosing it. Iv bookmarked this and I’m reading it every morning to help me get my head out my ass and realise my true potential. You are freakin awesome my good man thanks for all your motivational posts

    Cheers Mark

  9. says

    Great Post man!
    I totally love the last one “tell safetly to suck it”. Oh man this is so true, playing it safe doesn’t get you anywhere. Just like in poker, if you play too safe you’ll eventually get felted by the blinds.

    Ya definitely gotta try shit out and tweak from there. By the way love the book Flinch!

    Great read per usual bro!
    Eric Silva

  10. Melanie Testa says

    I keep reminding myself, “You went through treatment to rid your body of cancer, and if you can do that, what else can you do?” As my surgeon said, ‘your body handled everything we threw at it really well.’ Well? I want a beautiful, trained, muscular body, I can do that. I can do that really well.

    • says

      Damn right you can! That’s one hell of a victory over cancer you have, and you’re right – framing things in the shadow of that victory makes everything else seem totally doable. Thanks for sharing this!

  11. george says

    don’t know I can practice it.. But it is nice .. I definitely give a try.. Thanks

  12. Christina says

    Hi Roger,

    This is a great peace of literature so inspiring and so true I am 25 and really trying to find out the next move. It speaks to so many different avenues and in life and I wanted to put this on my wall and I think I will do it. I am decorating and think that these lessons will be a positive force in my house hold.

    Thank you for taking the time out!

    Christina

    • says

      Hey Christina,

      I’m really glad that you found helpful. I still refer to it myself at least once a week because it’s always helpful to have a little refresher to bring myself back to the present moment.

      Have a dope day!

  13. Sobiya says

    Hiya Rog!

    Thanks for this input! Almost after a year of self doubt, denial and confusion towards the cosmos and someone who had devastated my faith in love and happiness, I have made it my quest and my birthday gift to myself (its in exactly a month, yay!) to be more happier. I think this new positive thinking will enable me to fulfill my goals and help me find my identity. Above all I’m thankful to that man whose rejection was the reason I am now going to thrive even when it gets cold outside. You’re right, happiness can be found in everything even heartbreak!

    Much love,
    Sobiya

    • says

      Hey Sobiya!

      And what a worthwhile quest (and gift) it is. I’m really glad to hear that you took the setback as an opportunity for growth vs letting it define and confine you. Keep on keepin on, with ‘yo badass self!

  14. Danny says

    24) Bring out the best in you and others.

    Be the best you can be, don’t let your issue bring out the worst in you. Instead let it fuel the fire for you to strive for the goal, let it be the light in the darkness that surrounds you.

    Don’t let words hurt you, always express your feelings to the fullest. Never give in and let temptations stray you from the path you set. Encourage people to seek out the best in themselves and their issues and situations.

    If all else fails always remember that you must keep moving forward even if it means leaving the life you are used to behind.

  15. Search for me says

    After reading this article, it made me look at my life differently. For years, I’ve been unhappy with my life and to this day I still am. This article has hit home on so many levels. Subconsciencely, I sabotage my life by playing the victim, and that has brought me nothing but pain. I look at my life in such a negative was instead of being grateful. From today on, I will apply everything that this article offers, so I can start living a happier life for me. I have so much to offer and I need to see it that way.

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