The Most Important Life Lesson From Kill Bill

Whether you want to be a better lover, learn how to cook like a master chef or lose the extra fluff currently engulfing your sexy parts (like the Cave of Wonders in Aladdin), I know you want to improve your life in some way.What’s stopping you?Fear.How do I know? Because we’re the same, you and me. I’ve been there, too.From being petrified of getting on stage and trying to make a crowd of complete strangers pee their pants from laughter, not writing consistently and crying “writer’s block” to abandoning a diet early because I was too hungry, felt like I was losing too much muscle or a hodgepodge of excuses I used to cover up the fact that I was too scared to get it done.The worst part? I never admitted that I was afraid. I started to believe these excuses.To embody them.

To live them.

Each time that I fooled myself into thinking I was a fearless man who simply encountered insurmountable barriers, it became easier to fall into that paradigm the next time.

After years of this vicious cycle, I painfully realized that I wasn’t living the life of my dreams. Not because of anyone else or a lack of opportunities, but because of my own doing.

It broke me. Hard.

Here is the most important advice you’ll ever hear, regardless of what you apply it to:know your real edge and sharpen it relentlessly.

Your edge is the point where you start to back off, to rationalize, to bury yourself in the minutia, to buy into whatever bullshit story soothes your fears and gives you a reason to stop short of absolutely crushing a goal, leveling up your inner badass in the process.

In Kill Bill, Hattori Hanzō was the man. When you needed Japanese steel, a weapon capable of waging a roaring rampage of bloodshed and vengeance without losing stopping power, you called Hanzō. One does not simply create a Hanzō sword, however – such a creation is forged only through consistent, methodical effort and honesty.

Here is how to create your own Hattori Hanzō life blade.

1. Describe your current edge in detail. Example: I know I could be leaner, but I’m too lazy to consistently track my food intake.

2. OWN your current edge, committing to lean slightly into the discomfort each time you encounter it. Lean too far and the resistance encountered will be too great; lean too little and there will be no growth.
“A free man is free to acknowledge his fears, without hiding them, or hiding from them. Live with your lips pressed against your fears, kissing your fears, neither pulling back nor aggressively violating them.” – David Deida
Face your fears, hone your edge and create a life worth living. Don’t sell yourself short.
If you need any help identifying or finding your edge, I’m more than happy to help. Contact me via the contact form on this site.

Trutein Cinnabun Protein Powder: The 8th Wonder of the World

Back in the day, I was a protein powder fiend.

4 to 6 scoops was the norm, and I went through the stuff like the secret of life was at the bottom of those tubs.

And the worst part (aside from going BFP – broke from powder) was that I didn’t even like the taste after awhile. I drank it as fast as possible before my brain realized what sick things I was putting into my body and sent the eject signal to my stomach.

Long story short: low quality protein powder that tastes like dragon butt sucks, and I love y’all too much to not show you an alternative – high quality protein powder that tastes like hope, dreams, sunshine…and Cinnabons.

Enter Trutein.

If I told you how many times I’ve had the urge to stick several cinnamon rolls into the blender and create the world’s most delicious shake, you all would pool your resources to buy a spaceship and send me far away from normal people like yourselves, but now thanks to Trutein I can stay here on Earth and write fitness stuff – win!

Here’s what I like about it:

1) Taste – seriously…it tastes like a liquid cinnamon roll. A LIQUID CINNAMON ROLL! I can quit life now.

2) Triple  protein blend – casein (slower digesting), whey (faster digesting) and egg protein, making it a shake that you can have pre-workout, post-workout, breakfast, or post-sex if your sessions are that intense.

3) No proprietary blends – you know exactly how much of each protein source you’re getting.

4) Price – you get all of the above awesomeness for a low price, which says a lot with protein powders constantly jumping in price. Here is the best price I’ve found on the net and where I ended up ordering from as well: http://www.bestpricenutrition.com/trunutrition-sciences.html

5) Macros -
1 scoop = 120 calories
1g Fat
5g Carbs
2.5g Fiber
24g Protein

And now for the live taste test and review!

How To Pimp Your Programming


Your training split sucks. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. But training is the easy part. What’s difficult, however, is
recovering.

You wouldn’t know that though. You have no care for recovery. No care for logistics. No care for anything other than training.

What happens when you miss a day? Do you just skip it? Shift days around? Scream bloody murder?

Do you consider the effects of a workout done the day(s) prior to your current workout? Do you make sure a squat workout isn’t impacting your bench workout?

Don’t worry. We can fix it.

All of it.

Here’s how.

THIS AIN’T UPS

It’s all about logistics. The fine balance between stress and recovery. We pay taxes. We go to work. We do things that stress us out more than we probably should. But it’s all good because we relax on the weekends. We take vacations. We do things that help us recover, albeit less than we probably should.

Somehow, it all evens out. Somehow.

As long as it does, few of us care how.

Training is no different. We’re all relying on that somehow.

But it all comes back to logistics.

WHY YOU’RE VOLUNTARILY STRESSING OUT

Pretend public speaking curdles your pants, and you’re a businessman that’s forced to give presentations. Given the choice to schedule your presentations, would you: give one every day –or– batch them on one day.

The right choice here is getting them all done on one day. Otherwise, you’re laying a brick in your pants every morning during your commute.

Logistics.

On common training splits, the rage is to focus on one “big” exercise every session. The most common one is a four day split with one squatting day, one benching day, one deadlifting day, and one overhead pressing day.

But this is like presenting every day.

We don’t want to buy new pants frequently, so let’s rethink it.

WHY YOUR PROGRAM ISN’T IDEAL

Although we’re using the four day split as an example, this applies to three day templates too (although to a lesser degree).

In most programs, the “meat” is spread out. And by meat I mean the “big” lifts like squats, presses, and pulls. So every day you have to bring your “A” game.

This does two things.

First, it impairs your lifestyle. Who has time to date, mate, and get their hair cut when you gots to get your train on? Your life becomes a mix of “training days,” and “stuff needed taken care of that you don’t want to do on your training day because it throws your rituals out of whack.”

Second, it impairs recovery. Just like Mr. Presentation Man, batching makes for a less stressful life. After all, Goku took care of the Ginyu Force in one swoop. No rain checks.

It’s best to do damage when you’re prepared to do damage. If you’re up and ready, you might as well finish the job.

HOW TO DO DAMAGE WHEN IT COUNTS

Constructing a damage producing routine starts with opening your heart and choosing a few big lifts you love doing. This is very “Pareto,” in that we’re estimating 80% of your results to be determined by 20% of your lifts.

So limit yourself to four “big” lifts. For myself, a former skinny-fat dude, I’d go with the front squat, snatch grip deadlift, incline press, and chin-up. Although, if you’re a current skinny-fat dude without much experience, you’re better off with the conventional deadlift.

Whatever four you choose, they are your 20%. Most of your results will come from simply “practicing” these lifts regularly. Not always with gut busting, mind wrenching intensity either. Sometimes it will be hitting a few light sets. Other times it will be a spirit bomb of an effort, RPT style. The scheme you use doesn’t matter. Focus on progressively overloading them in some fashion over time. More weight. More reps. Less rest. Whatever.

HOW TO NOT PROGRAM HOP

80% of your results come from practicing the lifts chosen above. But the sad truth is that most people don’t even make it that far. They program hop before making consistent progress.

Face it. We, as a human race, have bad attention spans. Sentencing yourself to just four lifts for the rest of your existence, won’t end well. Most programs control every variable. Often times, trying “new things” leads to throwing “old things” away. But some of these “old things” could be one of your 20% lifts. We don’t want that.

Failure to plan for this, once again, comes down to logistics.

You’re going to try different exercises from time to time. Don’t ignore the urge. Just plan for it.

ENTER THE 242 METHOD

The 242 Method is a box of logistics. It originally stood for “2” lifts being done “for” “2” days of the week, after a look back at my training showed only two lifts being responsible for most of my progress.

The purpose of the 242 Method is to keep your focus on the lifts that matter most while condensing them into two days, which is unlike most templates that spread them over three or four.

Using the example already started, these exercises are the front squat, deadlift, incline press, and chin-up. So two days, every week, do these lifts with some semblance of structure with the goal being both practice and progressive overload.

Don’t worry. You can train more than two times per week. Three or four days if you want to, actually. Use these trips to the gym to have fun. Get caught up in bodybuilding pump work. Do your curls. Toy around with magazine exercises. Get jacked all around with low(er) intensity exercises, machine work, and isolation movements.

Don’t worry about training the same muscle on back to back days. You can actually increase your recovery as you’re flushing the damaged muscles with blood.

Here’s a template:

Monday: Damage Day / front squats, incline presses, deadlifts, chin-ups

Tuesday: Bodybuilding Day / arm exercises, back extensions, experiment with new things

Thursday: Damage Day / front squats, incline presses, deadlifts, chin-ups

Friday: Bodybuilding Day / arm exercises, back extensions, experiment with new things

Or if you’re a classic M-W-F person, use Wednesday as your bodybuilding and exploratory day.

WHY THE 242 METHOD IS SEXIFICATION INCARNATE

The 242 Method is fool proof. It’s pure sexification. You can try new exercises without program hopping. You can customize it with any popular progressive overload scheme. You can miss a day here and there, as bodybuilding days are easily sacrificed as. As long as you’re hitting your damage days consistently, you’re good to go. Compounded onto all of that, you only have to align the stars twice per week, not three or four.

And since you’re going to ask, I’ll let you in on a little secret. If you want to alternate your damage day exercises, go ahead. So do rows one day and chins the other. Do incline presses one day and overheads the other. Deadlifts and squats can be swapped too.

STILL A LITTLE CONFUSED?

The entire structure of the 242 Method is exposed in an eBook so aptly titled “The 242 Method: The Anti-Program Hopping and Injury Reducing Strength Solution.” Since Rog was nice enough to let me violate his home, I’m going to give all of you sexy readers a direct link to download the eBook. It’s totally free. No strings attached. No e-mail bartering. Just the goods. To get to the download page, click this link. And make sure you shoot your questions below. Tell Rog thanks. And most of all, keep it sexy.

Anthony Mychal exists at the crossroad between fitness and athleticism. As a professional, he’s a writer appearing on the likes of T-Nation, LIVESTRONG.com, STACK, and Greatist. As a dude, he’s a self-proclaimed performance junkie that practices martial arts tricking. He splatters his ideas about building a body that matters on a weekly basis at his blog.

 

Intermittent Fasting Experiment: The Update

For the last 2 weeks I’ve been playing around with extended fasting periods (read the first post here). Here is the breakdown of how everything went down.

Fasting Breakdown

Here is my feeding window and below those are the total hours fasted from day to day.

7/11 – Eating window from 5pm – 10pm
7/13 – Eating window from 1pm – 9:30pm
7/14 – Eating window from 7pm – 10pm
7/16 – Eating window from 9am – 8pm
7/18 – Eating window from 1pm to 10pm
7/20 – Eating from 2pm to 9pm
7/22 – Eating from 3pm to 8pm
7/25 – 1 meal at 10am (non training day)
7/26 – Eating from 4pm to 11pm
 
7/11 to 7/13 = 39 hours
7/13 to 7/14 = 22.5 hours
7/14 – 7/16 = 35 hours
7/16 – 7/18 = 41 hours
7/18 to 7/20 = 4o hours
7/20 to 7/22 = 42 hours
7/22 to 7/25 = 62 hours
7/25 to 7/26 = 30 hours
 

Meals

The goal of this first 2 weeks was to just get through it successfully, so I also used it as a time to eat anything that I wanted, in unlimited quantities, for the sake of convenience and making the transition. This lead me to consuming lots of  of meat, some fruit and plenty of ice cream. For the next 6 weeks though, I’ll be moving into something more balanced now that I have everything locked down, which means lots more fruits and veggies.

Below are a large majority of all the meals I ate during this time, many of them ridiculous for the sake of ridiculousness. Not shown are a lot of bananas, a pint or two of ice cream, 4-5 mini tacos and a few pieces of steak that people gave me from a wedding that I went to.

Random Thoughts

Surprisingly, it’s much easier for me to not eat at all than it is to eat a reduced amount of food. When I go into the day knowing that I have to eat less than I want to, it’s a very different mindset entirely versus when I know I’m just not going to be eating at all, and that mental shift helps a lot. It makes everything very simple – I’m either eating or I’m not.

I’ve also become better at differentiating between mental hunger (for a certain type of food) and real “if I don’t get food now I’m gonna eat a chair” hunger. The latter kind of hunger is rare, and I’ve only experienced it during the 62 hour fast, and I suspect it had something to do with only getting 4-5 hours of sleep the second day into it.

This has also caused me to analyze a lot of my ingrained eating habits because I come face to face with them several times a week. Do I want to eat more when I’m stressed? Yes. What about tired? Yup. Bored? Definitely. Having this this “eating or not eating” dichotomy forces me to deal with these issues, and when I successfully come out on the other

Sleep is SUPER IMPORTANT during longer duration fasts. If I get anything less than 7 hours of sleep I find that my hunger is definitely more noticeable when it does pop up, and it also stays around a lot longer as well. Nothing that isn’t manageable, but  something to make note of. If I get 5 hours or less, I turn into a hungry rage monster and a nice dose of caffeine is the only thing that keeps huge hunger spikes from happening.

Controlling hunger during a fast for me is as simple as getting up and moving. If I sit around and think about food, I want food soon after – the body seems to follow the mind in this respect. Drinking a ton of water also helps (you can get freaky and add some sugar free crystal light or Hawaiian Punch to it if you want a sweet taste).

Energy is way up on days that I’m fasting, even during longer one and I find myself being able to focus and lock into tasks much easier. Libido and general all-around happiness is also up as well – high five! On the flip side, the lows are low, and if something manages to get to me during this time it seems to cause a deeper funk than normal and is harder to bounce back from as quickly.

My training is done with 10g of branch chain amino acids and 1-2 scoops of Tier 1 pre-workout powder, so all of my calories are consumed post workout. I’ve felt a noticeable increase in my recovery between sessions as well (at least for for my upper body). Even if I pump up the volume for upper body sessions, I’m good to go by the next time I train, but if I do the same with lower body lifts I’m usually still recovering for a few days later, depending on how much I killed myself.

I’ve managed to hit a PR so far during this phase with a 405 front squat, and I hit an easy 225 on the military press that same day. I’m not saying that the fasting protocol has made me stronger, but I haven’t lost any strength or muscle, and I’m happy with that.

On off days, I either sit around like a sloth or go out for an hour walk in the Massachusetts sun. Nothing else for cardio.

As far as meal composition goes, it ends up being a mix of moderate protein/high fat/low carb or high protein/high fat/high carb, all depending on how I feel that day after training. I estimate that I get anywhere between 160 and 250g of protein per day. Assuming I hit the high end 4 days a week (I don’t), that’s 1,000g per week, 400g less than I would usually be getting if I ate every day.

Social events are easy to navigate as well. If I’m going out to dinner or something, I usually know about it in advance and just adjust my fasting/training accordingly. Worst case scenario, I just go and enjoy the company of the people I’m with – the reason for getting together in the first place – and have a ton of water.

Pics/Stats

Weight – 189 lbs (down 7lbs)
Right Arm - 14 inches
Left Arm - 13.5 inches
Left Quad - 24 inches
Right Quad -  24.5 inches
Waist - 32.5 inches (down .5 inches)
Booty - 39.5  inches (up .5 inches

I’m going to continue this for the full 60 days because I like it so much. For the next 2 weeks I’ll continue keeping things super loose and not tracking my calories/intake other than with pictures, but for the final 30 days I’ll track macros just for the sake of comparison.

Any questions?

Anything you’d like to see me keep track of better in future updates?

Lemme know in the comment section below!

Zombie Survival Workout

This finale of the first season of I Must Break You is brought to you by my good friend and one of the most unique people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing, Lady Leigh Peele.

When people want to lose fat, there are a variety of folks they can go to, but when they want to lose fat FOR-EV-ER, learning all about what goes into the whole process, they go see Leigh. While she’s technically brilliant, where Leigh offers the most value to the world is her expertise on the psychological/physiological factors and roadblocks that people run into during fat loss/maintenance.

Leigh knows I’m kinda sorta really obsessed with zombies, so she was kind enough to put together a challenge that would not only test me physically, but ensure that I would be one of the last fitness writers standing in the wake of the inevitable zombie uprising.

Here we go!


Sexification Note: You’re not gonna get me that easy, Leigh. I started with sexual intercourse. I’m sad to report that Stacey Dash didn’t have a chance once the horde broke through the door. She was left clueless.

First off, lets talk attire. Not having a shirt might be seen by some as a disadvantage, but I view it as a plus. Most chumps get grabbed by a zombie and in their struggle to break free end up falling on the ground only to get ganged up on by even more zombies. While a lack of shirt makes me more susceptible to scratches, the added mobility it allows me is more than worth the trade off. Plus it’s scientifically proven that zombies fear muscle, so increasing your jacktitude could very well save your life!

There wasn’t a chain link fence around, so I subbed in epic rope climbs, proving that if my life depended on climbing a rope to escape it would be game over for The Rog.

I also opted for head smashes over nut crunchers for the simple fact that zombies aren’t going around trying to fornicate with people. They’re trying eat their faces. In light of this mind blowing fact, it makes more sense to incapacitate their eating apparatus vs their sexy parts. As shown in the video, a series of rapid heel strikes in quick succession is the most effective way to curb stomp the undead into submission.

Do you know what else zombies hate? Getting punched in the face! In a world where guns mean attention and attention means death, you had best level up your melee skills if you want to stand a chance. Practice your kung fu kicks. Practice your hand to hand combat skills and DEFINITELY practice your Street Fighter uppercuts (AKA Shoryuken) – all of these will come in handy when going for the stealth kills.

After 3 rounds of this, there may have been  a few times that I contemplated laying on the ground, closing my eyes, and letting the horde of shuffling killers take me – who would’ve thought fighting for your life could be so exhausting?

Status: Broken

Intermittent Fasting: The Great Experiment

Courtesy of flickr4jazz

I’ve been all over the intermittent fasting lifestyle for almost 2 years now. After coming from a background where I ate 5-7 meals a day while trying to keep meticulous track of everything, it was a completely new and enlightening way of eating that completely meshed with my natural tendency for dietary hedonism and debauchery.

Recently though, I’ve felt stifled by both my training and eating. I was getting caught up in a rigid mindset regarding both, doing things because I felt that I had to, not necessarily because I enjoyed doing them. Should I train 3 or 4 days a week? Do I need to deadlift? What kind of feeding window should I adhere to? Should I eat higher fat or higher carb? What about muscle loss?

To bring some fun and excitement back into my training, I’ve  overhauled it completely, only doing exercises that I love or LOVE A TON, cutting everything else out of the picture (so pretty much booty, arms and upper back training all the time). Now I’ve decided it’s time to do the same for my nutrition, all for the sake of experimentation.

Gone are strictly timed feeding windows – I’ll eat whenever I want.

Gone are the days of keeping track of my calories and macros – I’ll eat whatever I want.

I love intermittent and how it fits into my life, so I want to do away with any self imposed rules and boundaries I’ve placed on myself, take it to the extreme in order to find out what really matters for my goals and reincorporate it in a less extreme manner once this is all over.

“Obey the principles without being bound by them.” – Bruce Lee

Objective: To fast for 3-4 days out of the week (only eating on training days) for the next 30-60 days without keeping track of calories (using only meal pics). I will also be monitoring the effects on my mood, body composition, strength and general well-being.

Updates will be posted every 2 weeks, including pics of myself, meals, workouts and detailed notes on all the above.

So, what’s the point of all this? Honestly, I just want to try something completely different and see what happens. If I lose a bunch of muscle and strength in the process I won’t be overly concerned since I know I can get it back later (and if I look like a badass despite that I DEFINITELY won’t care). I want to explore the role of true hunger, how I respond to it and the effect it has on me.

As much as I love science and all it has done for the advancement of this field, I feel that at times it can get in the way and make people frightened, myself included, to try different things just for the sake of seeing what will happen, so I’m just using my own body as an experiment to document & learn as much as I can along the way to pass on to you all, my Sexified readers.

Date - 7/11/2012

Weight - 196lbs
Right Arm - 14 inches
Left Arm - 13.5 inches
Left Quad - 24 inches
Right Quad -  24.5 inches
Waist - 33 inches
Booty - 39 inches

Front Squat 1 rep max – 385 lbs
Barbell Push Press 1 rep max – 215 lbs
Trap Bar Deadlift 1 rep max – 495  lbs (not sure if I’ll be including deadlifts in my lifting just yet)

What Do You Want Me To Explore?

If there’s anything you have questions about or want me to cover/look into during this experiment, leave it in the comment section below and I’ll be sure to include it if possible – this is your chance to live vicariously through me!

I Must Break You – Marianne Kane

For those new to the series, make sure to check out Nadine Brown and Nia Shanks attempt to send me to the great beyond.

In each release, I’ll be performing a new workout designed by some of the world’s best trainers and strength coaches in an attempt to…well, break me. This is just a way to add some variety and fun to my sessions (and give you something to laugh/cringe at) while giving all of you Sexified readers out there some ideas to inject into your own workouts every now and then.

Today’s entry is brought to you by the amazingly awesome Marianne “The Pain” Kane.

Marianne is the owner and creator of MyoMytv, a website that provides free workouts for time crunched humans using a variety of bodyweight and kettlebell exercises, with a hefty dose of inspiration from her own life sprinkled throughout. I went through the archives and chose this lovely gem of a workout to test drive, so peep it:

Complete 3 separate rounds of the following 10 exercises. After each round, complete the “Bridging Combo”. Use a 15 second on/45 second rest interval for all the exercises.

Thruster into Reverse Lunge (right)
Thruster into Reverse Lunge (left)
Double KB Suitcase Deadlift Burpee
Jump Rope
Super Plank Climber
Two-Handed Swing
Renegade Row
Stand-Kneel-Stand (right)
Stand-Kneel-Stand (left)
Roundabout Swings

Bridging Combo
Sub-Max Pull Ups
Alternating Single-Leg Hip Thrusts x 20 (10 each leg)

This workout was made infinitely more enjoyable thanks to the help of my friends Nick Moore and Sohee Lee, who I somehow convinced to share in the pain for me Well, that and the short work interval. 

For the first two rounds, things went pretty well (aside from a falling over like a Goof Troop) on the Renegade Rows. During the 3rd round though, Nick and his sick, infinite wisdom decided to change the breakdown from 15/45 to 20/20 – a minor adjustment, but enough to cause me to hate life just a bit more.

My jump rope skills are pretty much non-existent to opted to use my invisible rope for this session since it would be more entertaining than watching me get 1 jump in 15 seconds while managing to snag Nick & Sohee up in my rope…actually that would’ve been much more entertaining – noted.

Like all good workouts should, this one ended in a lovely human front squat.

While this workout was a challenge, I scaled back on the weight I used (16kg & 20kg) since I rarely do kettlebell exercises and wanted to make sure I didn’t break myself prematurely. With that said, the rest intervals will make or break this one – had we bumped it up to 30/30 for all of the rounds, Marianne may ended up pouring out some liquor for her 3 fallen homies.

Status: Unbroken

Next week will conclude the first season of I Must Break You, featuring an apocalyptic workout from fat loss expert, Lady Leigh Peele.

I Must Break You – Nia Shanks

For those new to the series, make sure to check out last weeks entry where I nearly experienced the true death.

In each release, I’ll be performing a new workout designed by some of the world’s best trainers and strength coaches in an attempt to…well, break me. This is just a way to add some variety and fun to my sessions (and give you something to laugh/cringe at) while giving all of you Sexified readers out there some ideas to inject into your own workouts every now and then.

Today’s entry is brought to you by the one of a kind Nia Shanks.

Don’t let the smirk, amazing posture and incredibly cool t-shirt fool you, because somewhere out there in the world Nia is warming up with your max.  As a personal trainer, writer (check her out here) and author, Nia is committed to empowering women both mentally and physically through strength training, but she was kind enough to take time off from her noble cause to crush me.

Here’s the workout:

Squat 225lbs for as many reps as possible.

Rest 10 minutes

Deadlift 315 for as many reps as possible.

When Nia sent this to me I figured it wouldn’t be all that bad, but the smiley face at the end of her message should have tipped me off.  I actually liked this challenge…for the first 10 reps, and everything after that was just stupid mean.

The first thing that kicked in was my lack of conditioning, which I expected, then on the 11th rep my quads started to realize that they’d exceeded their 10 rep norm and start yelling at me to stop.  By rep 20 they were just rolling on the ground in gasoline soaked underwear on fire, and by 25 they were just dead.

I see why she said rest 10 minutes, because the quad pump was incredible, and as an added bonus my glutes decided to speak up and express their disdain for Nia about 5 minutes into the rest period, twitching like a psycho killer. Lovely.

The deadlifts sucked right from the first rep. My quads still hadn’t truly recovered from the squats, and each time I locked out my butt felt like it was being tazed. Eventually my grip started to give and I was finishing some reps without my glutes and started to feel some low back pain, so I called it before my form got too ugly.

The only good  thing about this challenge is that it was over in less than 2 minutes per exercise, but as any gift that keeps on giving I cursed Nia Shanks by shaking my fist angrily at the sky every time I tried to stand up for a few days afterwards.

I won’t feel truly Sexified until I get 30 reps on everything, so until then…

Status: Broken

Next week we’ll have a challenge from the illustrious Marianne Kane of MyoMytv and possibly a guest victim to suffer alongside me!

I Must Break You – Nadine Brown

Welcome to the first thrilling & action (or lack thereof) packed edition of “I Must Break You”

In each release, I’ll be performing a new workout designed by some of the world’s best trainers and strength coaches in an attempt to…well, break me. This is just a way to add some variety and fun to my sessions (and give you something to laugh/cringe at) while giving all of you Sexified readers out there some ideas to inject into your own workouts every now and then.

Today’s edition is brought to you by Nadine “The Queen of Mean” Brown

Nadine is a personal trainer out of Australia’s Matrix Boxing Gym and is the current Queensland professional champion in the lightweight division, so it goes without saying that she’s a beast and I clearly wasn’t in my right mind when accepting this challenge from her. Here is the workout:

Complete as many rounds of the following as you can in 30 minutes

20 Burpees
20 Bodyweight Squats
20 Pushups
40 Mountain Climbers (20 per foot)
20 Dumbbell Uppercuts

So, despite having the conditioning of a pregnant one legged elephant, I had several things going against me in this workout:

1 – I thought it would be a great idea to add this to the end of my workout, which consisted of heavy front squats, overhead presses, back squats and deadlifts. I ended up dropping the dumbbell uppercuts after the first round due to excessive shoulder fatigue.

2 – I’ve lived in the 1-8 rep range exclusively for the past few years, so doing anything over 10 reps causes my muscles to crouch in the corner in the fetal position wondering what they did to deserve such torture.

Combine all 3 of those factors and you have the Trifecta of Suck, which is what I did here! Despite sweating profusely and breathing like an awkward teenage Rog during the painting scene in Titanic, I managed to get 3 rounds in 25 minutes (had to get ready for a client) – not even close to good, but this sets the baseline for when I repeat this workout later on down the road.

Take not of the overall length of the video – that means I cut out close to 10 minutes of grunting and writhing on the ground. See how much I care about y’all?

Muscular endurance? Check!

Conditioning? Check!

Mental toughness? Check!

This workout had it all, and it broke me like a bad habit. Well done, Nadine – there is a small corner of my mind that will wince in pain whenever I hear the words burp, pee, or any combination of the two.

Status: BROKEN

The Super Uber Mega Ultra Important Missing Ingredient EVERYONE Needs More Of

Could you eat (insert a delicious food that makes your stomach go “WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”) everyday?

Could you eat (insert a food that burns your buttcheeks and you wish that you could wipe it from the face of this Earth) everyday?

I don’t know many things, but I do know that I’d fight a bear and a tiger at the same time for a Cinnabon and could eat one everyday. Ask me to do the same with arugula or beets and eventually I’d end up trying to jump off a cliff. I imagine the scenario might play out similarly for you, minus the whole bear and cliff thing.

We do what’s fun and what we enjoy.

We avoid what sucks.  As flawed as that can be at times, that’s how we roll.

But what if we applied this same mindset to our training and diet?

What if we did we did more of what we liked & loved and less of what we didn’t?

A Case Study In Fun

Kimberly Mills is one of my favorite Facebook friends. She’ll randomly update me with her progress and life happenings, but the reason why I dig her so much is because I can tell that she is living one hell of a life. In her messages she rarely uses periods, only exclamation points ranging from 1-18 depending on how excited she is.

Kim sharing her amazing story in the July/August issue of Experience Life magazine

She works with a trainer, but each set and rep of her training program isn’t locked down and set in stone; she has a ton of fun both during and outside of her official sessions. In fact, and I affectionately call her a special kind of sick because of this, she joined the 10,000 burpee challenge where she does 100 burpees a day for 100 days – definitely not my cup of juice, but if fun were money she’d be making it rain 24/7/365, and that’s more important than anything else.To say that she is loving fitness would be the understatement of the century.

 A few weeks ago my friends Andrew Griffin, JC Deen and I got together and trained in a completely different way than we usually do. There was air humping. There were faux English accents, and we swung hammers  in a very manly fashion – I can’t think of a time when I’ve had more fun during a workout (I managed to hit some PRs because of all the awesome energy as well.

Since then I’ve completely revamped the way that I train, doing only exercises that I love to death or I think are cool and want to learn, because…

If you aren’t having fun, you’re doing it wrong!

No matter if you want to be ripped like old pictures after a  bad breakup or turn yourself into The Incredible Hulk, it’s gonna take awhile to get there, so why not enjoy as much of the process as possible?

Fun is a prerequisite to success.

The road is long and there will be many times when you get frustrated, pissed off and want to ragequit. Try to bypass the fun step and the odds of you giving up before making it to where you want to be are pretty high.

I just put on my Miss Cleo turban, so I can now accurately predict your future – the less fun you have, the less permanent the results. For all my gamer nerds out there, don’t grind to get to the end game without stopping to actually enjoy all the quests and people you meet along the way.

This is a marathon, not a sprint. If you don’t find some way to milk as much fun & enjoyment as you can from the delicious teat of life then you’re missing the whole point.

Some people enjoy the thrill of constantly chasing after a new strength PR. Some enjoy learning a new movement and after months of small successes finally getting it. Some enjoy getting their swole on all day every day. Then there are those who aren’t having fun unless they’re raiding Death’s refrigerator and eating all his sammiches by the end of their workout.

If you like yoga, do yoga.

If you like jogging (and can do it without hurting yourself), go do it every now and then without worrying about muscle loss or strength regression – worrying will do more harm then the running ever could.

I don’t care what you do as long as you love it. Just make sure that what you’re doing is leading you closer to your goals – it’s hard to have fun making no progress.

There is ALWAYS room for good ‘ol fashioned tomfoolery – one workout or meal will never make or break your assault upon the gates of Castle Awesome, so stop treating it like it will.

Need some ideas? Grab your spoon, because here’s an entire bowl full of ideas for you.

Workout Funjections

Homie Fun

Get a training partner or two and just let whatever madness happens happen. Everything is more fun with homies.

Procrastinator Fun

Perform 2-3 sets of 1-2 exercises at the end of your workout.

Example:

A1) Leg Press – 2 x 20
A2) Dumbbell Hammer Curls with optional bicep kiss – 2 x 10

“Oh hi there” Fun

Choose an exercise that you love and intersperse it throughout your workout, staying 4-5 reps below failure.

Example:

A1) Deadlifts – 2 x 5
A2) Tricep Pushdowns – 2 x 8
B1) Dumbbell Rows – 3 x 10
B2) Tricep Pushdowns – 3 x 8
C1) Goblet Squats – 3 x 8
C2) Tricep Pushdowns – 3 x 8

Pump Fun

Get your main strength movement (bench press, overhead press, squat, deadlift, chin up, etc) out of the way and then pump your muscles to oblivion and beyond for the rest of the workout.

Example:

A) Barbell Back Squat – 3 x 5
B1)  Barbell Hip Thrust – 2 x 30
B2) Chin Ups – 2 x AMAP (as many as possible with good form)
C1) Bodyweight Back Extensions – 2 x AMAP
C2) Dumbell Squeeze Press – 2 x 20
D1) Barbell Curl – 1 x 15
D2) Seated Row – 1 x 15

“I love everything!” Fun

Pick 4-8 exercises that you love the hell out of and do only those for your workout, varying the sets and reps for each.

“Zomgwtf!” Fun

Fill this workout with exercises that have haunted your soul since the beginning of time, or ones that you rarely do and want to get better at.

Example:

A1) Single Leg Deadlift – 3 x 8 each leg
A2) Pullups – 3 x 8
B1) Dumbbell Walking Lunges – 3 x 10 each leg
B2) Dumbbell Military Press – 3 x 10
C1) Dragon Flags – 3 x 6
C2) Heavy Dumbbell Holds – 4 x 15 seconds

Minimalist Fun

Pick 1-2 exercises and perform 5 sets of each, varying the rep ranges.

A1) Barbell back squat to box – 2 x 3
A2) Barbell bench press – 2 x 5
B1) Barbell back squat to box – 2 x 8
B2) Barbell bench press – 2 x 10
C1) Barbell back squat to box – 1 x 20
C2) Barbell bench press – 1 x 15

Survival Fun

Set a time limit (5-30 minutes is a good range) and see how many rounds of an exercise circuit you can perform.

Example:

A1) Pushups – 10
A2) Burpees – 10
A3Dumbbell Row – 5 each arm
A4) Single Leg Hip Thrust – 5 each leg
A5) Jumping Jacks – 15

SMASH!

Smash stuff over and over again until you feel like stopping.

Food Funjections

There can be only one!

Eat one nice, hearty meal for the day – that’s it (don’t go out of your way to try and eat as many calories as possible, though).

Treat yo self!

 Have a food that you absolutely love…everyday.

All day

Eat a food that you love…with every meal